Massage Me

I just read an article on the wonders of massage. According to this article, massage is wonderful.

Is that redundant?

This article says it is good for pain, stress, headaches and migraines, to name a few. Just 20 minutes of massage improves all of those things to about a 3 on the pain scale of 1- 10.

A 3.

Not bad. 3 is functioning. 3 is do-able. 3 is “I can live my life and cope with this.”

I would like a 3. All. The. Time.

Why isn’t massage a standard form of medical coverage? I wish it were.

I’ve had a massage or two in my life and the first one was by necessity. I was 30 something. Never had, had a massage until then.

Because I never wanted one. I didn’t believe them. I didn’t believe the studies. I didn’t trust massages or the therapists who gave them. Plus-did you know- someone has to touch you. On your skin. With no clothes between their hands and your birth day suit. Massages are not like a hug.

Hugs are wonderful! Hug me! I love them! Hugs are non-skin contact. You get to keep your clothes on and no one sees you naked. It’s a win-win!

Massages, not so much a win-win…or so I thought back then…

My first massage only happened because my back had entered into a ‘perma-seize’ and nothing was helping it release. Those muscles were wound up tighter than tight! The medication wasn’t working, the chiropractor couldn’t get them to give and I was unable to bend, turn or pretty much move.

You can’t do much like that. It’s near impossible.

So they said it. They only option not yet attempted-they said: you need deep tissue massage.



Are you sure is what I said to them. Then I asked how about if I try bungee jumping instead-that should loosen it right up…right?

You shoulda seen the look I got. I was told that bungee jumping in my ‘condition’ would NOT be a good idea and I should NOT attempt such a thing. I was escorted to the back room, they just happened to have a massage therapist available and no one else to be massaging.

How lucky am I? For the first time in my life, I got to get nekkid with a stranger who was about to touch my skin, in the manner of massage against my will want. What I wanted was another way to un-spasm my back.

Like I said, I had very limited mobility and the pain was bad, really bad. So I got myself as naked as I had to, which was pretty naked…then layed on the table and covered up to my neck as best I could while lying on my stomach. Then I waited.

Finally the therapist came in. She said, this won’t be very enjoyable I’m afraid (duh, I already knew that. helloooo I’m practically nekkid here and if you look too closely you may go blind). I need to do deep tissue massage on you. It’s DEEP, as in I need to WORK your muscles until they release. It might, and probably will, be painful.

Great I said out loud. Then thought, not only am I practically naked, doing something I don’t want to do, but this is going to hurt too? How is this going to release my muscles again? Oh well, I was already in serious enough pain to put me on her table in the first place so I guess I was about to find out.

She began the deep tissue massage.

Yup. It was painful.

I think she was attempting to see if how much pressure her table could withstand holding a 150-something pound woman while trying to be pushed through it to the floor. But I could totally be wrong on that. All therapists know that people can’t move through solid objects…right?

My limbs definitely were ‘twitchy’, very twitchy. At one point I think my right arm flung over my head involuntarily. She said that was a good thing. I was confused…but I lay there and let the torture treatment continue.

Wonder of wonders! It worked. I have no idea how many years minutes passed, but at last my back relaxed. The muscles stopped their seize and the excruciating pain was gone. I was tender yes. But I could move. I could turn. I could walk! I was so happy I think I shed a tear or two.

She couldn’t see that though, my face was pointed to the floor. Not because she went blind. Her vision was intact through the whole thing.

After my deep tissue massage was over, she gave me a relaxing ‘normal’ massage to ease the pain of the deep tissue. I. was. in. heaven.

Had no idea that getting naked with a stranger would be sooooo good!

I did it again a few more times in my 30’s. Not too often, because it’s not a medically covered form of treatment.

I am now in my 40’s. I haven’t had a massage in my 40’s. But I think I should. I think I am long overdue one. I may even be so bold as to say, I should have a massage every year. Yes! That would be wonderful. A yearly massage! I have no problem getting near naked now, the results are worth it!


About Sheila's Thinkerings

Happily married wife, happily mommied mom. I am far from perfect but I don't mind. Also I am a wee bit crazy, it's true. Just ask anyone who's ever met me...
This entry was posted in Blog 365, Fitness, Hahahaha. Bookmark the permalink.

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